whats in a name ?

[Oddball]

>
> [WHATS IN A NAME]
>
> "My Lord, I bring news."
>
> Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary
> little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
>
> "Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course
> for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh
> Tearers."
>
> "Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got
> here first."
>
> "Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
>
> "What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos
> start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
>
> "Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
>
> "They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of
> ours?"
>
> "Positive, My Lord."
>
> "Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
>
> "The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately
> this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are
> also headed our way."
>
> "Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
>
> "The Alpha Legion, sire."
>
> "It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
>
> "Umm..."
>
> "What!"
>
> "The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
>
> "It is?!"
>
> "Yes."
>
> "I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers'
> isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
>
> "The Alpha Legion, sire."
>
> "Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
>
> "That is correct, sire."
>
> "So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
>
> "The Blood Drinkers."
>
> "One of ours?"
>
> "One of theirs."
>
> "OK."
>
> "The Iron Warriors."
>
> "One of theirs?"
>
> "No. One of ours."
>
> "Go figure."
>
> "The Dark Angels."
>
> "Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
>
> "No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are
> Loyalists too."
>
> "Bugger. So who else then?"
>
> "The Emperor's Children."
>
> "Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like
> that."
>
> "Um, not exactly my Lord."
>
> "Really?"
>
> "Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
>
> "This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by
> weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have
> got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know
> about?"
>
> "A few, Lord."
>
> "OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like
> traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
>
> "I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like
> traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all
> White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
>
> "I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of
> ours?"
>
> "Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers -
> both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
>
> "With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed
> followers of the blood god."
>
> "Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
>
> "I thought they were renegade pirates."
>
> "No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
>
> "Oh. OK. Continue."
>
> "The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
>
> "Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
>
> "Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the
> Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
>
> "Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've
> got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
>
> "My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a
> loyalist legion with the same name."
>
> "Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
>
> "I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver
> Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors,
> who are ours)."
>
> "Bloody hell. Is that it?"
>
> "There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause
> occasional confusion."
>
> "Such as..."
>
> "The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally
> encountered."
>
> "Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like
> loyalists then..."
>
> "Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
> Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name
> to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
>
> "Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black
> Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from
> every pore."
>
> "Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the
> Alpha Legion."
>
> "The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos
> Legion?"
>
> "They used to be missionarys sire"
>
> "We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change
> their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad
> men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
>
> "Yes my Lord"
>
> "You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names.
> There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The
> World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
>
> "Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were
> loyalists."
>
> "You're kidding."
>
> "No, My Lord."
>
> "Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for
> the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the
> World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the
> World Eaters" seems much more likely."
>
> "Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
>
> "Makes no bloody sense at all."
>
> "Yes, My Lord."
>
> "Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
>
> "Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord."
>
>
>